28 April 2010

某人,我喜欢你,但那也只是曾经。谢谢你的不在乎,让我学会了收回苦苦等待的心

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你已经好久没有主动打电话给我


甚至没有主动发过一条短信


我们,就这样了吧


就这样,不再爱你了

不再,为你心动了

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你会不会,会不会像我想你一样想我呢?

距离拉长了思念,却阻隔了见面

让你离我好远好远


眼看着身边的人一个一个都有了轰轰烈烈

我想


是该放下你了


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回忆,

仅仅是用来回忆


不要说我不甘寂寞,因为我已经寂寞了好久

不要说我用情不专,因为你从来不属于我


也不要说我轻言放弃,你甚至,连一个微小的回应都不曾给


那是因为爱,因为委屈,因为心痛

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不再留着你的短信不舍得删掉了

不再一遍一遍的回看我们的聊天记录了

不再眼巴巴的盯着手机期望你的电话了

不再上一整晚的MSN等你现身了

不再到处跟别人打听你的消息了

不再向好友倾诉自己的心酸了,因为倾诉过一次,

已经代表
,我决定放下你了

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你拨动了我的心弦,却不曾为我驻足

当我以为你还在的时候,你已没有踪影

当你回头找寻我的时候,我已开始寻找自己的天空

亲爱的,我把最美好最美好的年华留给了你

我,于你无愧

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亲爱的,我的青春有限,承担不起一生一世的等待

亲爱的,让我骄傲一次,这次,是我不要你了

我爱你的时候是真的爱你,我不爱你的时候是真的不爱你了

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请不要怀疑,

曾经,我愿意不顾一切的等你,

愿意随时随地陪你,

愿意在你身后默默的看你,

为你的快乐而快乐,

为你的悲伤而悲伤,

尽管,

那些情绪,

与我无关啊

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等待不苦,

苦的是,

没有希望的等待

我爱你,

但,

那只是曾经

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Khai 2010

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24 April 2010

绝口不提爱你

闭上眼睛忍住呼吸 暂時要和世界脫离

就快要學会不再想你 却听见不断跳动的心

我允许了你 让愛的自由还給你

我允许了自己 承受這悲伤到天明

我不愿放弃 却要故意默默允许

我答应自己 愛你的心绝口不提

总是以为終究化作 雲淡风轻

愛你到底 痛了自己

我不愿放弃 却要故意默默允许

我答应自己 愛你的心绝口不提

所有結局在这夜里 都已成形

愛到了底 痛的是我的真心

所有結局在這夜裡都已成形

愛到了底 痛的是我的真心

23 April 2010

曾经何时答应过自己不会再自己一个人走在那条街上

可惜今天我还是自己一个人孤单单的走在那条令人寂默的街上

知道自己当时许下的愿望永远都不会实现

同样的道路

同样的场景

同样的你

同样的悲哀

谢谢你

让我的生活

添上那么多的牵挂

思念



失落



Khai 2010

19 April 2010

这样好吗?

这样好吗?

真的好吗?

搞得自己那么痛苦真的好吗?

那么在乎一个从来不会把你放在心上的人真的好吗?

无结局的等待 这样等下去好吗?

这样难道 不难受 不痛苦吗?

把自己搞得那么难受 她又懂吗?

每晚就念她都快把自己搞疯了她又懂么?

把她放下真的有那么难吗?

她真的那么好吗?

好吗 ?

真的好吗?

能怎么办 ?

该怎么办 ?

放下?

逃避?

还是?

让自己再煎熬下去?


Khai 2010

17 April 2010

有一個人,在心裏,想放棄,卻,捨不得


有一個人 你會很想他每晚對你說‘ 晚安 ’。

有一個人 他不會主動和你聊天 但你會忍不住想和他聊天


有一個人 他永遠不知你在想他 但你卻滿腦子都是他


有一個人 你一上線就會去看他在不在.


不在就一陣失落 在 又不敢打擾他.


有一個人 他的狀態簽名只要一換你立刻胡思亂想 揣測不安


有一個人 你線上只是在等他而他的頭像卻不會在你的MSN裏抖動


有一個人 你總是忍不住去看他的面子书


即使他什麼新鮮事都沒有。


有 一個人 你會看他的最近來訪和留言
然後又胡思亂想 揣測不安

有 一個人 你一直在等他
他卻忘記了你

有一個人 你真的好愛他


可是仔細一想

你到底愛他什麼?



有 一個人 你觉得他可能是你的永遠

但是他卻告訴你 你们只是彼此的過客

有一個人 你真的可以對他無條件付出

他卻不稀罕 對他來說 你只是負擔~

有一個人 你那麼那麼捨不得

他卻那麼隨意 灑脫 不在乎

有一個人 你總說着 要放下他了

卻總是忍不住又拿來回味

有一個人 離開他的時候你装的若无其事

但是一轉身 早已淚流滿面

有一個人 你會在心裡默念著想見他

一秒也好 就算你在他心裡不存有任何位置了

有一 個人 你好想大聲告訴他

我真的好後悔愛上你了

因為 你發現 你真的真的好爱他

无可救药 无法自拔 情不自禁

可是他不愛你了 這就是事實

那個驕傲的你去哪里了?


以後再也不會期待
不會看他在不在線上了
不會看他的面子书了
不會期待他的資訊和電話了
不會期待他會關心你

有那 麼一個人 真的讓你受傷了

記得那個人說過

“自私的人會快樂 我自私 所以我快樂”

嗯 再見了

我那麼那麼愛你 我一點也不遺憾

值不值得 都不要緊

重要的是

記得曾經有那麼一個人 愛過你


現在我把愛情還給你 那你把我的驕傲還給我 好不好?

培根說:“愛情是很容易考驗的。

如果對方不以同樣的愛情
來回報你,那就是暗地裏在輕蔑你。”

在愛情裏,最在乎的一方,最後往往是輸得最慘的。


假若愛一個人沒有回應,與其乞討愛情,不如驕傲地走開…


這樣,至少,你還能贏得最後的尊重。





Khai 2010

15 April 2010

Do U Miss Someone?

Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because u think that he/she doesn't miss u?

Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time, sweet feeling.

U will be sitting around wondering if u meant anything to him/her.

Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.

Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it's him/her.

Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will surprise u by appearing downstairs.

Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u were out together.

Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars again, talking about everything.

Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online.

When u realise that he/she isn't online and did not return your page,u will start worrying if he/she is okay.

Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess.

It exposes u to loneliness.

It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and let u know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness.

Sometimes it feels good to miss someone.

U know that u really care and u indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for him/her.

But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is feeling the same is terrible.

U feel as if u are being left alone........



Khai 2010

12 April 2010

我又没有很想你~

我又没有很想你~我只是在早上醒来的时候,看看手机,有没有你发来的新消息,有没有你的未接来电。

我又没有很想你~我只是在聊天的时候,打开你的对话框,看看你的头像,想着和你在一起的点滴。

我又没有很想你~我只是总是喜欢点击你的MSN头像,看看你的资料,是否修改了心情短语。

我又没有很想你~我只是把手机调成振动,放在我身边,并时不时地看看是否自动关机,是否错过你的短信,电话。

我又没有很想你~我只是在听歌的时候,偶尔会被某句歌词击中,脑中出现短暂的空白。

我又没有很想你~我只是想看看你的样子,听听你的声音。

我又没有很想你~我只是在睡前紧握着手机,等待着你的消息。

我又没有很想你~我只是在睡不着的时候,想想你,但是,我不知道,我是因为睡不着而想你,还是因为想你才睡不着。

我又没有很想你~我只是在每次开始睡觉的时候,第一个想到你……

我又没有很想你~我只是在每次醒来的时候,第一个想到你……

可是忘了问自己……

什么时候我才可以不再对自己撒谎?才能在想你的时候,说……











Khai 2010

09 April 2010

Life goes on

I am not blaming anyone. I know outside there still got a lot of people who are even worst and unlucky if compare with me. I have my responsible parents. Even my family is poor but they never stop from providing what I needs and grow me and my two brothers until now. I have to work hard for the thing that I wants.

I still remember when I was primary school, I dun have any pocket money. I only can eat bread or foods that I bring it from my home when break time. Seriously I tell u, I never buy anything from school canteen until standard six. I started to work when I was standard six. I work in a company which name Caerly Girl. It is a bra making company. The payment only Rm1.2 / hour. No choice what, I have to work for my own pocket money.

I still remember when my 2nd brothers get birthed, we dun even have money to buy milk powder for him. That time my parent have to borrow money around from my relatives.

I still remember when I was kindergarden, I keep being bully by my classmates because Im from poor family. I don’t even have a bag and pencil box for school that time.

I still remember the time my family own the very first house. That time I know that start from that day, I no need to keep moving house again, no need to stay at relatives house, no need to sleep at temple and I will have a stable life ahead…
My cousin just stay beside of my house. The situation of our family is totally different. Even his family is not really rich but is more much better than mine.

I still remember the first time I saw he playing videos games which is cost around Rm200 that time. That time Rm200 is really a big amount for my family. I keep begging my parent to get me one after that. I was still a child that time and I don't know how hard my father worked to get me the videos game. If now, I sure won't ask for that stupid videos game…

I still remember the first time my cousin’s family own his very first car. They get to travel around and each time when he back he will tell me where he had go and what so fun with the journey. Each time when I listening to him, I will think: when only my family can own a car?

I still remember when I was small last time, I keep argued with my mother but she never blame me after that… I still remember I throw the 'mihun'that she cook for breakfast in front of her just because I dun like it… I could't imagine how hurt was her that time..Sorry mum..

I still remember when I was 18..I started to turn bad. Somehow I started to skip all my form 6 classes and get addicted to online games. I even fight with my father and run away from home for 1 month. I get to know some 'new friends'. Lucky, I did't involve myelf into crime. I did't even smoke. I lost a lot of things that time. I broke with my 1 year half girl friend and I also being buang sekolah…

Until now, Im study at UTAR. Kampar and UTAR, a school and a place which had totally changed my life after downturn of form 6.

I learnt a lot of things at here. Never regret for study at UTAR. The only thing that I regret is that I cannot get any best friend at UTAR..Anyhow, there are still a lot of my cute and nice classmates around.

Anyhow, life goes on =)




Khai 2010